Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
