if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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