I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
