Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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