I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
