At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
