I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
