Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
