Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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