I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
