On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
