Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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