I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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