If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
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