But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize