just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
