the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
