We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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