the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
