No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
it's like iHOP with fire
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
