i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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