she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
