Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
