the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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