Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
