Are we in a gay sports bar?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize