Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
