If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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