There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
i believe in u and ur pee
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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