My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
