5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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