I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
