omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
