If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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