My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
