well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
