is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
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