Are we in a gay sports bar?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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