I hope mine doesn't look like that
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
