do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
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