p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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