That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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