We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
