Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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