At least make sure they are 18
Why
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
