Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize