I cockslap morals
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
