Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
