I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
