I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
