What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
