Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
North Korea, Best Korea!
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
