If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
