she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
