If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
