hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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