Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
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