I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
