Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(678): View more from Georgia

xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well

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(207): View more from Maine

I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased

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(813): View more from Florida

It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.

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