how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
