All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
