you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize