can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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