OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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